Trump backer’s fake news is KKKrackers

EVER since Donald Trump coined the phrase “fake news”, it’s his own Republican Party that has been its greatest publisher.

Take this week. According to a leaked audio, Congressman Scott Perry went on a bonkers rant about the Ku Klux Klan.

“The KKK in modern times, a lot of young people think it’s a right-wing organization when it is the military wing of the Democratic Party: decidedly, unabashedly, racist and antisemitic,” Perry said. Who knew those white hoods came with a blue party membership card?

There’s more. Perry also took a detour into the Twilight Zone by claiming migrants in the US aren’t interested in becoming Americans. I guess they’re just here for the fast food, right?

Pennsylvania priest Lawrence Kozak allegedly funnelled thousands of church dollars into his Apple ID for some high-stakes gaming. A criminal complaint and affidavit allege the former pastor at St Thomas More, in Pottstown, spent more than $214,000 (£170k) – just under $44,000 (£35k) of which was put to a credit card associated with the parish. Looks like someone might have taken “Thou shalt not steal” as more of a suggestion than a commandment.

Miami’s intrepid airport security guards stumbled upon an unusual find this week: a bag of snakes nestled snugly in a passenger’s pants.

The wearer must have looked like they were pleased to see the guards.

Christine Wilson won $1million (£800k) on lottery tickets – 10 weeks after her first $1m win. The Massachusetts state lottery announced that the lucky player won the most recent prize by playing the “100X Cash” $10 instant ticket game.

She decided to receive the winnings in one-time payments of $650,000 (£519,000) before tax, which she plans to put into savings.

When builders were working on the Family Fare grocery store in Midland, Michigan, they unexpectedly found a woman, 34, living inside the rooftop sign.

“I’ve never seen anything like this in my career,” said Midland Police Department Officer Brennon Warren.

The woman, who police dubbed the Rooftop Ninja, lived in the store sign for about a year.

Her high-rise hideout had a desk, pantry and even a houseplant to add that homely touch.

P.S.

Hilarity at the puppy park this week when tempers exploded over the upcoming US election. The small contingent of Donald Trump’s supporters were their usual boisterous selves before one was told: “If you were any more inbred, you’d be a sandwich.”