It hurts that my man eyes up other women

Dear Coleen

I’VE been going out with a man for several years. We get along really well but now I’m not so sure how I really feel about our relationship.

Recently, we went on holiday and, on the last day, I met a lady and got chatting to her.

She said to me: “Your man has an eye for the ladies.” I suppose I had noticed this myself but put it down to my imagination and just ignored it.

Once I got back home and returned to work, I mentioned what this woman had said to one of my colleagues and she agreed with her.

She said: “We all look at the opposite sex but surely not from head to toe, and we don’t follow them with our eyes as they walk down the street.”

Hearing all of this has made me feel very uncomfortable but it clearly means nothing to my partner – that’s just the way he is. I don’t stay with him for financial reasons – I have always paid my own way.

In fact, I always buy him nice presents when we go away. It would be nice if he would sometimes do the same for me.

Should I cut my losses and leave him as it appears he thinks very little of me? He does read your column, so this might make him think.

Coleen says..

I’M not one of these people who will scream, “Get rid of him” if a man looks at another woman. It’s true, we all look at attractive people – but there’s a line.

It’s making you feel very uncomfortable and embarrassed in front of other people.

Be honest and tell him that a) you don’t feel he’s putting any effort into the relationship and b) friends, colleagues and even strangers have pointed out that he’s constantly looking at other women, which makes you feel embarrassed and it affects your self-esteem too.

It sounds to me as if he’s taking you very much for granted and thinks he can do what he pleases without any consequences. But

On the last day of our holiday, I was told ‘Your man has an eye for the ladies’

the reality is – and you should remind him of this – you’re not married or tied to each other financially in any way and it would be easy to walk away.

I hope he does read this and realises your feelings have changed and you’re not happy.

He’s been too busy checking out other women to notice that or to pay you the attention you deserve.