Dear Coleen

LAST October, my husband found out who his biological father was. Although he passed away 10 years ago, he discovered he has seven brothers and sisters.

My husband is an only child and grew up in a dysfunctional family. I haven’t had much contact with the new members of the family – he’s met three siblings so far – but one in particular has accused me of stopping them from seeing my husband.

I had to cancel an event at ours over Christmas to look after my brother who has Asperger’s and also to work. Since then I have received drunken abusive texts from two of them (one of whom was drunk while driving her disabled children). I have only met these people three times – once at our house and twice at theirs. I’ve now removed them from social media, as I help at a mental health charity and cannot allow these messages to appear online. Of course, this caused more abusive texts.

My husband is desperately trying to build a relationship with them, so he’s asked me to support him, but he’s on the phone to them at all hours. And if we’ve had an argument he tells his siblings and I get more abuse.

I feel so hurt that he doesn’t stick up for me. I think he’s scared they won’t have contact with him if he doesn’t side with them.

I’m finding it hard to support him and I’m ashamed to say I think the siblings I’ve met are horrible people. I know it’s complicated but I’d love your advice.