Psychiatrist told me that I wasn’t skinny enough to be anorexic
HOW CRIES FOR HELP FELL ON DEAF EARS Two recovered sufferers tell how they faced a struggle to get medics to take their issues with food seriously
it may have been possible for me to be treated in the community.”
Kerry has now recovered and, like Zoe – who works with children who have additional needs – is part of an educational campaign by Beat.
Eating disorders are complex and have the highest mortality rate among psychiatric disorders.
There’s no single cause and not all symptoms will apply to all sufferers, who may have a mixture of anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorder – or even alternate between them.
Zoe, 24, of South Queensferry, near Edinburgh, has had issues with food since she was 10.
She was an anxious child, a perfectionist and worrier. She said: “Weight wasn’t my focus at first, it was about control.”
As she hit puberty, she became more conscious of her weight.
Her eating pattern shifted with her mood – it could be obsessively restrictive and then at other times she would binge and make herself sick.
In her teenage years, she lacked confidence and was driven to the unattainable perfection of other girls.
When she was 14, her eating disorder grew worse and she struggled mentally and physically.
She was irritable and tired and suffered a persistent sore throat. She couldn’t climb stairs without gasping for air.
Zoe’s periods didn’t come until she was 16 and even then they were irregular, which fits the diagnostic criteria of anorexia. Her life was consumed by her obsession with food and she put it before having friends, socialising and having fun.
Knowing she was only getting worse, she sought help when she was 16.
She was already being treated by a psychiatrist for depression and in one session she plucked up the courage to address her eating disorder.
Zoe recalled: “The psychiatrist told me that I wasn’t anorexic because, although my weight was low, it wasn’t low enough to fit the criteria.
“It had taken me so long to ask for help, because inside I was torn between a desire to lose weight and recognising I had a problem.”
She was devastated that her eating disorder was dismissed as nothing. Secretly she also saw it as an endorsement to continue on her destructive path.
For the next five years, she lost all hope of getting help and was slipping into acceptance. It was only when she developed a painful stomach ulcer that she saw a new GP, who quizzed her about her eating.
When Zoe explained her unhealthy relationship with food, the GP referred her to the Cullen Centre, an outpatient psychotherapy centre in Edinburgh for people with eating disorders.
She said: “I was relieved that she believed me but at the same time terrified that I would have to change my eating behaviour. It had been my life for so long.”
Zoe had counselling sessions with an expert at the clinic.
Facing her fears was daunting but she gradually learned to be less of a perfectionist – and as the anxiety eased, so did her need to control her food.
She said: “If I had carried on the way I was going and not been given help, it would have probably killed me.
“But I could have got that help so much sooner.”
For the first time, Zoe feels able to be carefree.
In the last year, she has signed up for a post-graduate course, abseiled the Forth Bridge and participated in the Portobello Beach Loony Douk.
She said: “Recovery takes a long time but I feel that I am doing really well now. I realise that life is amazing, that there are so many things out there to enjoy.”
Zoe is a young ambassador for Beat, speaking out about her experiences and educating others about eating disorders.
She said: “I would like to think that an eating disorder is no longer defined by a skeletal image but I think people do still hold that view.
“That is really dangerous. Size doesn’t indicate health. The damage can be inside.”
The GP told me to ‘eat a sandwich’. My mother was at a complete loss KERRY McLEOD