Worried he’s staying late at work with woman
Dear Coleen
MY BOYFRIEND and I have been together five years. He’s a hairdresser and about six months ago he began working at a new place.
He has always worshipped the ground I walk on and loves to take me to expensive restaurants to eat or to surprise me with gifts I could never afford myself.
But recently he’s been staying late at work – sometimes two hours after he’s finished – because a female colleague works later and he doesn’t like the idea of her being left there alone.
He doesn’t understand why this upsets me, even after explaining it to him several times.
I’ve read texts on his phone between them and it’s all just friendly chit-chat, but they are always messaging each other and sometimes they even send each other hearts in texts.
We are meant to be buying a house together and I’ve just found out I’m eight weeks pregnant but feel I come second to his job and this other woman.
He has also confided in her about our relationship troubles, which I feel very uncomfortable with. I’ve tried talking to him but I feel I’m getting nowhere and will end up with the baby on my own.
Please help.
Coleen says
WHY is this woman your boyfriend’s responsibility? Have you asked him that? It doesn’t sound like he’s the salon owner or even the boss, so it shouldn’t be up to him to manage this situation. I don’t know many people who would voluntarily stay at work for two extra hours to keep a colleague company. Most people I know can’t wait to clock off to get home to their loved ones so they can relax.
And why are they texting each other so often when they work together? In my opinion, their whole relationship is inappropriate and, even if they are not having an affair, that’s the way it could be heading.
You should be his priority and if you’ve been having a rocky time, then he should be focused on working on those issues instead of spending his time at work. Does he intend to stay at work with this girl when the baby comes along?
You need answers and your fears addressed, and you have to get tough with him. Whatever he says, he’s putting this colleague above you. Don’t let him turn it on you and make you feel stupid and jealous. If he does try that on, tell him it’s irrelevant because that’s how he’s making you feel. And ask him to make a choice.