Dear Coleen

I CAN’T MOVE ON FROM MY EX

I CAN’T seem to move on from my ex, even though the break-up was mutual owing to our busy lives and the stress of university. It’s been four months now and I still think of him every day.

We’ve had no contact whatsoever during this time, but we have mutual friends so I’ve had to remove myself from any social occasions where I may bump into him.

I also removed myself completely from all social media to ensure I don’t see anything about him.

Despite this communication blackout, I still can’t get over him. I have no interest in dating anyone else and rebuff anyone who shows an interest.

I keep thinking maybe one day, many years from now, we might rekindle our romance because I still love him. Is this some crazy obsessive stalker-like behaviour?

I can’t spend my life hoping he and I will get back together when we haven’t even spoken for months. So how can I move on? What should I do? life back up. Heartache does take time to get over – and that can be hard to deal with if it’s the first time you’ve had your heart broken.

Four months isn’t that long really, so don’t be too hard on yourself. However, you have to let go of the whole romantic notion of getting back together with him, because you’re not giving yourself the opportunity to move on with your life.

At first, you might have to force yourself to go out, but the more you do it, the more you’ll enjoy yourself.

Don’t cut yourself off from your friends – I’m sure they’ll be sympathetic to how you feel. But if they do discuss him, then just say you’re not ready to hear about him yet.

And there will come a point where it doesn’t bother you.