Trump’s Russian friends are taking a leak..again
MY mum always says: “If you don’t laugh you’ll cry.” After the week of news we’ve all had, I can assure you she’s right.
Thankfully the world is full of daft nonsense to keep us going. Like the first ever hay fever map of Britain showing the best and worst places to be if you have the condition. Guess what? Turns out the best place to be if you have hay fever is in the hoose.
Or that six UK music festivals are going to allow people to test their illegal drugs this summer.
Don’t worry, they’ll be tested in the traditional safe way. By being pumped straight into Pete Doherty’s bloodstream.
Then there’s Wayne Rooney being left out of the England squad against Scotland. It could spell the end of 15 years of incredible earnings for Wayne. And the start of it for his local bookies.
Then there was the overdue library book borrowed in Dudley, that turned up eight years later at a library in Kentucky, USA.
Nice to know we’re still sharing some written information with the Americans.
And that a book was found in the Deep South that they haven’t tried to burn yet.
Talking of which, Theresa May has supposedly clashed with Trump about unfortunate and embarrassing leaks.
Though Trump is still sticking to his story that they Russian wummin were just in his hotel room checking the shower was working.
Staying with international incidents, Northern Ireland police have begun using drones to patrol birds of prey. Which nearly caused a religious riot as some folk thought that meant they were targeting nuns.
The scheme has delivered mixed results over all. So far, three bad guys STAR Wars fans have been celebrating the film’s 40th anniversary. And in keeping with the chronological order of the movies, they’ll be celebrating the 20th anniversary in two years’ time.
Daisy Ridley has revealed the real reason she looked exhausted at the end of The Force Awakens was because she was sick with a vomiting bug. Producing the most dangerous projectile from a Star Wars actor since the last time Harrison Ford flew a plane.
Her co-star John Boyega made his first return to the stage since his career went stellar in the film series.
It’s not the kind of show most Star Wars fanatics are likely to see. As going to it would involve them leaving the house. have been caught by the drones. And three kestrels have tried to fire into them.
Over in celebland, Colin Firth has applied for Italian citizenship after being gutted about the Brexit result. And he’ll be accepted, assuming he’s not done anything criminal in his past. Let’s hope the Italians haven’t seen him sing in Mamma Mia!
The new Nokia 3310 is out, 17 years after the original. Which confused me. I heard that some big colourful plastic lumps with an irritating tone have come back from the year 2000. And assumed it was a new tour announcement from Steps.
Which rounds off a wee distraction of nonsense, in a week when things happened that just made no sense.