There’s no need for guilt

DEAR LUKE, I LOST my mum a couple of years ago and I am racked with guilt. We didn’t speak for the last few years and when I got to the hospital she was unconscious and died without regaining consciousness.

I loved her, but she was difficult. Please can you tell her I am sorry?

Best wishes, Gary HI GARY, THANK you for your letter. First of all, as I say to many people, talk to your mum yourself, as Spirit are all around and can hear even our thoughts that we send out to them. The woman I am connected with in Spirit had a lot of mood swings and could say things that were not always meant, she has the most beautiful eyes which seem to drawn me in. I can taste alcohol around her and I hear the names Matt and Alex. She knew you were at the hospital before she passed. She knows you had it in your head at her bedside to say sorry, and she felt you touch her hands/head before she very peacefully passed to Spirit. The guilt you speak of is not all your fault. As you said in the letter, your mother could be difficult at times; you did your best with the circumstances that you were in at the time. You must now start to forgive yourself to rid yourself of guilt. This can be such a difficult, painful process but self-forgiveness is the way forward for you. Over time, you will feel much more settled. Guilt can hold people back for years on end, causing so much pain (which it has done to you), but the lady I am connected with in Spirit needs you to concentrate on the good that you have in your life now – you have your family and close circle of friends.

She says that you have to stop seeking perfection, as perfection doesn’t exist in anyone.

You did your very best with what you had; be proud of the decisions you made. Concentrate on what makes you happy and do more of that. The name Mary has just been said to me. Happiness is a choice. Choose happiness, not guilt.

Much love,