My sister’s battle with mental health was an inspiration for my new book.. but I don’t think she’ll ever read it
When award-winning author Anneliese Mackintosh asked her sibling, who struggles with autism spectrum disorder, if she could base a character on her, the reply was: ‘That’s no problem but, if you do, make it as realistic as possible’
WHEN Anneliese Mackintosh and her sister were teenagers, Kirsten was diagnosed with depression.
“I thought it was because she was into the Manic Street Preachers,” Anneliese, 34, recalled. “I desperately tried to get her to stop listening to them. I kept giving her CDs of other bands, like Nirvana.”
Kurt Cobain therapy didn’t help. Kirsten went through several other diagnoses – borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia – and was sectioned along the way.
In 2014, aged 30, doctors finally agreed she had autism spectrum disorder, as well as obsessive compulsive disorder, severe anxiety and depression.
Now Kirsten is the inspiration for one of the characters in her big sister’s new novel. So Happy It Hurts is a very personal story of a young woman, Ottila, trying to sort out her chaotic, booze-soaked life.
The sister, Mina, is a painfully accurate portrait of someone struggling with serious mental health problems. No cuddly Rain Man stereotypes here.
Anneliese explained: “Like Ottila in the book, I became very frustrated when my sister was diagnosed. I looked in pop culture and there was no one I could recognise. They were always such a rosy version.
“I know people with autism spectrum disorder can have rewarding relationships and be happy in their lives, but my sister was struggling. She was sectioned for about two years.”
While the book was just an idea, Anneliese asked Kirsten if she could base a character on her.
She said: “I spoke to her early on and asked If I could include personal stuff about our relationship. She said, ‘That’s no problem but, if you do, make it as realistic as possible.’”
Mina is just part of the story of Ottila, who works in a Maggie’s Centre. She binge drinks with her bestie, has sex with her married boss, who was her grief counsellor when her father died, then self-medicates with more vodka.
Ottila’s progress is told through letters to Mina, emails to her mum, Snapchats, receipts, transcripts of recover meetings and rude notes she writes to The Little Book of Happy when it offers her completely unrealistic advice.
Anneliese didn’t set out to produce painfully intimate books. When she started out as a student on Glasgow University’s prestigious creative writing postgraduate course, she tried just about everything else.
She said: “Before my first book, Any Other Mouth, I didn’t write anything personal at all.
“I didn’t even like to write from the perspective of a woman. I did little boys, old men, aliens, anything that wasn’t myself.”
Then her father died. Two weeks later, all the really sticky stuff started pouring out.
Anneliese said: “I was dealing with an awful lot of demons I had in my life, I just wanted to get everything out. All the traumas I’d had in my life, everything I’d been angry about.
“I didn’t think anyone was going to see it – it was a project for me to deal with my own grief at the time. Then I showed it to a friend who said, ‘This is the best thing you’ve ever written.’”
Normally this would have an author punching the air. Instead, Anneliese thought: “Oh God, why does it have to be this?”
She said: “Of course, being a writer hungry for some kind of success, I sent it out to a few people.”
It was published by Glasgow firm Freight, won an award and was shortlisted for several others.
So Happy It Hurts has different characters but Anneliese considers it a follow-up, because it tries to answer the difficult question: What next?
She explained: “Once you’ve dealt with a lot of trauma in your life, how do you then get onto an even keel?
“You can become very addicted to drama and it becomes this self-feeding cycle, you keep wanting more and more while bemoaning it.
“I got to the point where I was almost pleased when something new happened to me that was bad, because I could write another story about my tragic life. That’s quite an unhealthy place to be.
“I wanted to write about a character who gets out of that cycle and finds contentment.”
Anneliese has ruled out going back to pretending to be small boys