Dear Coleen,

MY girlfriend of seven months is pregnant. It’s not my baby – we got together soon after she split with her ex and she then found out she was pregnant. She told her ex straight away but, at the time, he didn’t want to know.

I have supported her throughout the pregnancy, attending all her appointments and she’s now living with me in my house, and we have redecorated the spare room for the baby. We’re in love and I know it’s not my child, but I’ll be there for them both.

The problem is, her ex is now back on the scene and is showing interest in his child (which is a good thing). My girlfriend sat me down and told me she wants him to be at the birth as she thinks it’ll help him bond with the child, and she feels it’s not something a dad should miss.

But I’m very unhappy about it for three reasons...

One: with only a week to go to the birth he shows up after doing nothing to help during the pregnancy and feels he should be allowed to attend (I don’t think so). Two: my girlfriend wants her mum in with her (understandable) so, if he is in the room as well, I won’t be allowed in as the hospital only permits two people present – and it’s me who’s supported her through the pregnancy.

Three: I’m not happy about her ex being in the room when she is half naked with most of her bits on show. I know he’s seen it all before but it’s still not nice for me to think about.

My girlfriend says she loves me but it’s up to her who is in the room. Am I being unreasonable and childish?