Clare Johnson

LAST week, I wrote in anger about a letter I’d received detailing the results of an assessment that had been carried out on my autistic son.

I told how it was written in language and terms only a specialist could understand and that it included one particularly harsh reference that upset me for days after.

I mentioned that I didn’t want to go into detail because my son is approaching high school age and needs his privacy.

On the day it was published, I received two messages from readers who held polar views on what I had written.

One said he felt I’d overshared, arguing that as my son gets older, it’s not appropriate to discuss him publicly.

In a sense I agreed and I am increasingly cautious about what I do and don’t disclose.

But there is a louder voice within that argues that if parents like me don’t talk – sensitively – about what autism is and what it means, how can we expect others to understand and, most importantly, accommodate our children?

The same is true for any number of conditions that, unless you are living with them, are hard to understand.

The second message I received that morning was from a lady called Sandra who simply wanted to show solidarity. She has a 16-year old with autism and told me to keep fighting for my boy and that I wasn’t alone.

I appreciated both messages because each came from a good place. On that same day, I spotted a post on the business networking site Linkedin from a man who began by writing: “My name is David, I’m a leader in tech and I’m an alcoholic”.

This was essentially a very successful young guy who managed to keep the wheels of daily life turning despite battling a serious addiction – until it brought him to a shuddering halt. He wrote candidly of his depression, how he drank in the evenings to numb his emotions, yet kept the show on the road in the day. He gave up in December when the toll his drinking was having on his mind and body became too heavy a burden. David courageously shared his story with colleagues, industry peers and clients. He did this knowing there would be those among them who would judge. And yet he chose the greater good in the belief that there would also be those for whom his words would strike a chord and may just encourage them to seek help. His post, there among the success boasts and self-promotions, is a reminder that we are all in this together and that we move forward as a society not by silence, but by speaking up.

If we don’t talk about autism, how can we expect others to understand?