Magdalene Dalziel

LIKE most problems in modern life, we can probably blame this one on the Kardashians.

I’m not talking about increases in cosmetic touch ups or the resurrection of Kappa tracksuits. I’m referring to pressures on women to answer those all too familiar conundrums: Babies or careers? And can you really do both?

If the sun-kissed exploits of Kim and Kourtney etc are to be believed, the answer would be a big, fat (bottomed) yes.

We would pursue fabulous careers, have fun with fantastic friends, find time to cosy up with perfect partners, stuff social media with envyinducing posts and give life to hundreds of tiny humans left, right and centre – all while keeping on top of the latest trends and without having to bat a false eyelash.

We are, after all, the generation who found voices and formed identities under the shadow of a bit of zig-a-zig-ah in post-Girl Power Britain. If anyone has the balls to go out there and have it all, it should be us.

But, despite the myriad bloggers and celebrity mums with armies of nannies showing us how easy it is to balance brilliant jobs and babies, a lot of us are choosing to become parents later in life (if at all).

More women these days are putting baby plans on the back burner and focusing on careers, with the average age of first time mums hovering around 28 – 30 and records showing nearly as many first-time mums over the age of 30 as those in their 20s, trends that are echoed worldwide. So are we chickening out? Sure, there are the usual constraints that have always faced young people – mundane issues like worrying about cash, places to live and putting food on the table.

But with those starting out nowadays doing so in an increasingly daunting and usnure economic climate, planning for a baby can seem an even bigger deal than it was when women were expected to be married with two bundles of joy before we’d even made it to 25. You can’t help but wonder if, somewhere along the line, when we were teenage girls being lectured about the importance of our education and need to have a detailed game plan for our work and finances, did people forget to remind us about the other stuff we were expected to accomplish as adults? Like having kids? It’s so easy to spend years knocking your pan in at school, university and in your first job, only to look up and realise the candle count on your birthday cake is slowly creeping up and you neglected to find a partner and settle down, you know, like we’re supposed to. But we’ve got choices these days, more than our mums and grans had, more options than women in less developed countries and bigger seas to fish when it comes to choosing the right mate, so maybe we should all just accept that some of us are doing things at our own pace, and there’s nothing wrong with that. And surely the mistakes we make along the way are just as entertaining as a Californian reality TV show, albeit a bit less perfectly contoured.

It’s easy to spend years knocking your pan in, only to look up and realise the candle count on your birthday cake is creeping up