Trump star basher did level best
A MAN has avoided jail after admitting smashing Donald Trump’s Hollywood Walk of Fame star with a pickaxe.
The concrete star is thick, shiny and close to the gutter.
Much like the paving stone with his name on it. ●YOUTUBE star Zoella has been slammed by readers of her latest self-help book which offers lifestyle tips including the importance of carrying an umbrella in spring and how to make a sandwich. You have to remember to always have a decent filling. Wee shame her book doesn’t. ●JOHN Lewis are searching for a new chairman. They’re after someone popular who can help them bounce back. The early favourite is that mad Boxer dug on the trampoline from their old Christmas TV advert.
MICROSOFT founder Bill Gates showed off a jar of jobbies as part of his speech at the Reinvented Toilet Expo in China. The stink hung around for ages. No wonder. Because of Bill, it’s really difficult to open windows. ● KELLOGG’S are getting pelters after failing to pay any tax on their UK businesses last year. It might not be the first time as they’re cereal offenders. IF you like voting on stuff, this week has been right up your street.
The X Factor vote had to be cancelled after the show was hit by disastrous sound issues. Aye, unfortunately we could hear the contestants sing.
A massive technical blunder affected Danny Tetley’s performance last weekend.
It was the weakest Tetley since your granda used to make four cups of tea off the one tea bag.
Viewers complained that contestants were left sounding like Daleks. Simon Cowell was raging. The Daleks of course are soulless creatures hell-bent on world domination, created by an evil genius who wants to punish humanity. They’re stealing his act.
Fast forward a couple of days and Cameron Cole won the final series of Big Brother. Cameron spent Monday night celebrating his victory, before waking up the next morning not knowing who he is. Much like the rest of us.
Craig Phillips, the first ever winner of Big Brother, said the show should have ended a long time ago. Which is surprising. As a builder by trade, you’d think Craig would be keen for something