Coleen says

I THINK you need to get in the driving seat and take control of your life. You can’t wait for someone else to come along and take you away from your marriage.

If it isn’t working, that’s what you need to tackle. It’s not fair on your husband either, who has already put up with a lot.

The uncertainty of what comes next is scary and that could be what’s holding you back. I know – I’ve faced that situation twice now. However, once you do make the decision and you know it’s the right one, that fear does turn to excitement about the possibilities.

You could suggest a trial separation and, if he agrees, it could help confirm whether you’re doing the right thing and that your desire to end the marriage isn’t just linked to your affair.

I WAS interested in the letter from the woman who’s worried about her fiance’s stepdad ruining their wedding (Dear Coleen, November 27). My mother-in-law frequently spoiled family events, especially Christmas, and now my daughter has a mother-in-law who’s offensive and behaves even worse when she drinks.

My daughter would not have her at the wedding and a number of guests would not have gone if she had been there. I try to make allowances by thinking about the kind of childhood she must have had to behave like this. But it seems some people resent others being happy. I think your reader is right to make a stand over her fiance’s stepdad because he could ruin her special day entirely. Lynn, via email