Alexa, play break-up songs.. then hook me up on Tinder
HOUSE of Commons Speaker John Bercow has been accused of changing parliamentary rules in the wake of the latest row over Brexit.
MPs are demanding they change to a speaker who does what they’re told. Rumour is they’re trying to buy an Amazon Echo with Alexa built in.
Talking of Amazon, company founder Jeff Bezos is to divorce his wife MacKenzie after a 25-year marriage.
Bezos is currently packing hundreds of boxes up. He doesn’t own much, but out of habit he just can’t help using too much packaging.
Figures suggest the Amazon boss could lose half of his £137billion fortune in the divorce settlement.
Jeff claims he has no problem personally delivering his wife’s share of the money to her. And if she’s not in, he’ll just leave it with one of her neighbours.
Everyone seems to be breaking up just now. Thirteen people started divorce proceedings on Christmas Day using a Government internet portal. It’s thought at least 12 of them are angry wives who got charcoal firelighters from the petrol station as their main Christmas present.
Manchester City defender John Stones has apparently split from his childhood sweetheart amid allegations he’s been having an affair. Stones losing possession of something at a crucial moment. Not exactly a surprise to anyone who follows his fitba career.
Jack Fincham and Dani Dyer have discussed their short break-up in the series finale of their own show Life After Love Island.
It brought the reality pairing some important things. A closer relationship, deeper understanding of each other. But most importantly, pure hunners of publicity before the first show in the
A VENUE in Wiltshire that put on a “spectacularly bad” pantomime has offered a refund to all customers who paid to see it because it only had a cast of three and no scenery.
To be fair, punters should maybe have clicked something was wrong by the name of the show – Snow White and the Two Dwarves.
series. Money can make or break a marriage. What about the Northern Irish couple who won £115million on the Euromillion?
The lucky pair say they plan to make 50 of their friends and family rich with half of the cash. That makes a change. Most rich folk in Northern Ireland get their money off Theresa May after joining the DUP.
Which brings us nicely back to where we started. MPs have voted to force May to announce new Brexit plans within three days, if her deal fails.
The PM has been asked to outline her current position. Things are so bleak, it’s actually the brace position. Mind you, if it doesn’t work out, the PM could always run Amazon.
Makes sense. Theresa’s now an expert at dealing with an expensive divorce. ●MPs who don’t want Britain to leave the EU without a deal have tried to limit the Government’s taxation powers in the event of a no-deal Brexit.
Och, it’s easy enough to limit the Government’s taxation powers. Just change your name to Google and they won’t touch you. ●Wee clarification on this week’s incident at Parliament. If you shout Nazi at an MP, you can be done for hate speech. If you shout Numpty, you can be done for revealing state secrets.