Dear Coleen
LONG-TERM LOVE WON’T COMMIT
I’VE been going out with my girlfriend for eight years but I’ve never met her best friend. The one time she came round, I was bundled into the kitchen.
Also, she won’t commit or let me move in and keeps putting off the conversation about marriage.
She won’t put my name on any birthday or Christmas cards and I only see her family once a year on Boxing Day.
I’ve tried talking to her but she always just brushes it off.
I don’t know what the problem is. What do I do? that. It’s not good enough to keep fobbing you off. I understand that marriage might not be for her (although you still deserve a conversation about it) but not introducing you to people close to her is an insult.
She’s sending out a very clear message that she doesn’t want you to be fully part of her life and you deserve better than that.
Don’t waste another eight years going along hoping that she’ll suddenly change her attitude.
Maybe if you do say it’s not enough for you and you want out, it might wake her up to what she’s got to lose.
But you can’t carry on the way things are. This isn’t a relationship in my eyes, and I’m not surprised if you feel very used.