Unhappy with hubby after 54 years of marriage

willing to try? What you’re experiencing isn’t that unusual – many couples struggle to be together happily once the distractions of work and kids have gone. It’s almost as if you have to create a new life together. And it can be really hard to adjust to these changes in circumstance. It’s a point that brings lots of older couples to therapy.

Don’t let him fob you off – talk to him again and be direct. Tell him you’re miserable and how you’d like things to be. If you have to be the driving force to organise things and book stuff, then just do it. It’s going to take one of you to take the initiative.

But he needs to realise how important this is in the context of your marriage.

You could both think about relationship psychotherapy if you find it hard to discuss things. You could also have therapy on your own to work through your feelings.

If you decide you want to leave the marriage, it’s never too late, as I know from the many older people who write to me. And if you want to talk about it to your family, then don’t be too proud to pick up the phone. Good luck.