NEW GUY SAYS HE’S IN AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP

Dear Coleen

I MET this really nice guy through a running club. It’s been great for me following a divorce and this man turned out to be a very good friend. The problem is, things have kind of gone beyond friendship.

A few of us went for a drink one night and he told me he really liked me and wanted more – he was flirting up a storm. I haven’t been able to sleep since, thinking about it. He’s with someone, though, but says he’s in an open relationship and they have an agreement.

He’s not the kind of person to lie about something like that.

Do you think I should consider it? I’m not looking for anything serious right now – just a bit of fun and friendship.

Coleen says

I DON’T want to spoil the party but I’d be interested to know if his partner really has agreed to an open relationship. I have an ex who used to tell women the same thing but it was news to me.

And it’s OK saying now that all you’re after is a bit of fun and friendship but what if you start to feel more? Over the years, I’ve had lots of letters from people in a “friends with benefits” situation, where they’ve developed deeper feelings and just ended up getting hurt.

If he was a single guy, I’d say go for it, have a bit of fun and see where it leads. The fact is, there are loads of people out there to have fun with but this is already complicated and you’ll still be his bit on the side – is that what you really want in a relationship with someone?

The fact you’re writing to me shows you’re not 100 per cent sure and are worried about putting yourself in that situation.