Oh no! Have you lost your mojo?
Worried about low libido? Michele O’Connor asks the experts how to respark your relationship
WHEN Ulrika Jonsson opened up about the emotional toll of living in a sexless marriage, many women in the UK will have been able to relate.
A study by the journal BMC Public Health found almost one in five women are “dissatisfied, distressed or worried” about their sex lives.
Ulrika, 52, became “unintentionally celibate” for five years during her 12-year marriage and only recently had sex again with a new partner, which she says made her feel “brought back to life”.
The TV star said going through the menopause and loss of body confidence affected her libido. However, there are many reasons why sex drive can dip. Here we look at some of the common culprits and ask experts for their advice.
Relationship rage
“If there are emotional problems in your relationship, sex is likely to be a problem too,” says psychologist Dr Becky Spelman. “For most women, feeling angry is not a turn-on so if there are unresolved issues that are causing problems, it’s a good idea to find a way to talk to one another openly and honestly.”
Lose the booze
Drinking too much can put a dampener on your sex drive, warns clinical psychologist Dr Abigael San. “Sexual response is reduced by regular and prolonged drinking. In men, alcohol can cause difficulties getting and maintaining an erection while women may find it harder to have an orgasm.”
Visit drinkaware.co.uk for more tips on cutting down.
Midlife blues
“The menopause can change how you look, feel and act,” says Stephanie Taylor, women’s health expert and founder of pelvic healthcare company Kegel8. “Vaginal atrophy or dryness is very common during menopause, caused by a drop in oestrogen levels.
“Try using a pH-balanced lubricant and start taking a vitamin D3 supplement.”
Hormone havoc
Low libido may be caused by an underactive thyroid. Symptoms include tiredness, weight gain and depression. It slows down production of sex hormones, but is easily treated by taking thyroxine tablets.
Pelvic floor power
It’s estimated that a third of British women are affected by pelvic floor problems, which can result in incontinence and a reluctance to have sex due to pain, lack of sensation or embarrassment. Stephanie says: “By exercising your pelvic floor muscles, you’ll increase blood circulation to the area, which will help and improve your orgasms.”
Stress test
“When you’re experiencing periods of high stress, your body produces the hormone cortisol which can lower your libido,” says Dr Simran Deo, at online doctor Zava UK. “Taking steps to reduce stress, such as meditating, relaxation techniques or counselling can help. Make sure you get plenty of sleep, exercise and have a well-balanced diet.”
Pill problems
Loss of sex drive can be a side effect of the hormonal changes brought about by taking the contraceptive pill, says
Dr Deo. In most cases, changes to your libido caused by the pill will even out within a few months.
The love diet
“Not only are greasy foods bad for a healthy diet, they can also affect your sex drive,” says Frida Harju, nutritionist at health and fitness app Lifesum.
Aim to eat fresh foods and a rainbow of fruit and vegetables to increase your energy levels – and don’t forget to exercise.
Ask the doctor
Some medications such as opioids, anti-psychotics, cancer treatments and beta blockers can reduce sex drive.
If you’re worried that the medication you’re taking is responsible for your reduced sex drive, ask your GP about possible alternatives.