HE’S FORCED ME TO CARE FOR THE KIDS

Dear Coleen

DURING the lockdown it has become impossible to work because I now have two children at home aged eight and 10. I usually work from home but now my husband is working here too, I’m expected to take care of the kids, homeschooling them and keeping them entertained.

We had a huge row about it the other day and he just said that his work has to take priority because he’s the main breadwinner.

I think he’s being selfish and not considering me at all. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Coleen says

EVERYONE is in the same boat at the moment – this is all new and our usual routines are out of sync, so you have to work out a new routine that involves some compromise on both sides.

He might earn more but it doesn’t mean your work is “less important” than his.

It’s important to you and it’s still better to have two wages coming in than one.

At the moment, I don’t think it’s fair (or realistic) for one person to sit at a computer and do an eight-hour day, while the other is left to deal with the kids.

You need to discuss each of you splitting your time between work and childcare. There’s no point arguing, as it’ll only make it harder than it is to all be at home together.

Sit down as a couple and compromise – work out a routine for all of you.

The good thing about working from home is that it is possible to get more done in a shorter space of time. Could your husband do an early shift, for example, and allow you time in the afternoon to work?

Also, your kids aren’t toddlers – give them responsibilities and goal-orientated tasks, so they can feel part of what’s going on and not just dictated to.

This is a confusing time for them and, at the moment, they might begin to feel like they’re in the way if they’re hearing arguments over whose job it is to look after them.