DATING BEST PAL HAS ALL GONE WRONG

Dear Coleen

I’M a woman in my 20s and last year I started dating my male best mate. We’ve known each other for about eight years and lived together at university.

Nothing happened sexually between us until last year. Up until then we were just close mates who confided in each other and socialised together.

When we first got together, it was electric – great sex and we had amazing fun. It just took our friendship to the next level and it seemed right. In fact, we kept saying we should have got together years ago.

Now though, it feels different and we’ve kind of gone back to being mates. He keeps saying, “Are we OK?” because he can tell something’s wrong. Why am I feeling like this? I’m confused.

Coleen says

SO what do you say when he asks you if everything is OK?

If you’re not honest with him about feeling as if things have changed, then how do you hope to sort it out? It’s odd that you told each other everything as friends, but now you’re lovers you’re holding back.

Maybe it’s not working out and you feel deep down that you’re better off as friends, but maybe it’s hard to admit that and you’re worried about losing him as a friend.

The truth is, it’s always a gamble to get romantically involved with a good friend because if things don’t go as planned it can be hard to slip back into the friendszone.

It’s OK to have doubts, but you have to talk about them.

You can’t stay in a relationship because you don’t want to hurt his feelings.