I’VE BEEN CAST ASIDE AS HE’S BACK WITH EX

Dear Coleen

I MET a great guy (or so I thought) last autumn. We fell for each other very quickly and started seeing each other all the time.

We’re both in our 40s and each have kids from our previous relationships. He hadn’t been separated that long when we met.

When lockdown happened, he told me he was moving back in with his ex to help her and the children, but they’d be in separate bedrooms and it was just for the purposes of co-parenting.

I believed him, only for him to get in touch a few weeks ago to say he was back with his ex, and lockdown had made them want to work on their marriage.

It was like I’d meant nothing to him, even though he’d been talking about us moving in together.

I feel like such an idiot and I’m left with all this anger.

Can you advise?

Coleen says

HERE’S the thing, yes it’s upsetting and you feel let down and angry, but you don’t need someone in your life who doesn’t know what he wants and is so insensitive to your feelings.

You’ve been burned but don’t let what happened with him put you off dating or getting involved in another relationship if you meet someone you really like.

It sounds to me as if he got together with you on the rebound but things clearly weren’t resolved with his ex. Perhaps the next time you meet someone you really like, take things a bit slower until you feel sure there’s commitment on both sides.

Direct your anger into moving on in a positive way and, if this guy comes knocking at your door again, tell him you’re not interested in a “boomerang lover”.