I’M 60 BUT TOYBOY HUBBY WANTS A BABY
IN reply to the woman whose son’s girlfriend has been staying in her home since lockdown (Dear Coleen, August 25), I’m surprised this girl is allowed to amble around half dressed when you also have a younger son. It’s inappropriate.
Ask her to dress appropriately when others are at home and ask your son to get her to help out with chores. Yes, she’s a guest but you’re not running a hotel and she ought to respect your rules. It’s time your son had a quiet word.
Alan Payet, via email
Dear Coleen
I’M a 60-year-old woman and have been married to my 38-year-old husband for 10 years.
We’ve had a brilliant marriage and a good sex life. However, he dropped a bombshell last week, saying he wants to have children.
We discussed this when we got married and he said it wasn’t a problem, but my daughter-in-law has just had a baby and I think it triggered his longing for a family.
I told him he’s free to go, as I wouldn’t want to deny him this. But he said he does not want to leave me and that he could have a family in Turkey, where he’s from, but live with me in the UK.
He has a good job here and helps pay all the bills. The house is mine and we signed legal papers when we married to say he had no claim on the property. I love him and don’t want to lose him but I don’t want to just be his landlady. I haven’t told my friends and family. Can you help?
Coleen says
SO what’s he proposing – to live with you and never see his child? I’d be questioning how this is going to work. And it does sound as if he’s trying to manoeuvre into a situation where he gets the best of both worlds.
And what about the woman he plans to have this baby with – what will she be to him and how much will she be in his life?
You haven’t told your friends and family because you know they’d think you were crazy for agreeing to this arrangement and would advise you to move on from him.
If you think he’s going to do it anyway, regardless of how you feel, then maybe you need to think of this relationship as being great while it lasted, but now it’s time to move on.
This often happens when there’s a big age gap – you find yourselves at very different stages of life and wanting different things.