SHOULD I WALK AWAY FROM MY MESSY AFFAIR?

Dear Coleen

OVER the past 18 months I’ve been having an on/off sexual affair with a family member (related by marriage, not blood) and I don’t know what to do about it.

I’m in love with him but whenever I tell him this and tell him that I’d leave my partner to be with him, he just says we can’t because of all the problems it would cause in the family.

I know I should walk away but I want to be with him and it seems so unfair we’re in this situation.

If he wasn’t part of the family, we’d make a great couple. Do you have any advice?

Coleen says

WELL, he’s right – if you reveal the affair then it’ll be very messy in terms of the repercussions for family relationships.

This might feel unfair but what you’re doing by having an affair isn’t fair to your other halves.

Of course it’s difficult when you have feelings for someone but it doesn’t sound as if this guy has any intention of leaving his partner to be with you. He obviously enjoys meeting you for sex but doesn’t want to take things any further.

Take him out of the equation and focus on what you want to do about your relationship, which clearly has problems if you’re having an affair. And, if you make the decision to leave your partner, don’t do it because you want to get together with this other man – I don’t think that’s part of his plan.