I’m straight but I had gay sex with col­league

Daily Record - - LIFE -

Dear Coleen

I’M a woman in my 20s and I ac­ci­den­tally slept with a fe­male col­league re­cently. We were at a ho­tel for a small “keep­ing in touch” meet­ing with three other col­leagues and we stayed the night.

In­evitably, we spent the even­ing in the bar and got quite drunk, and I ended up stay­ing in this woman’s room and having sex with her.

I’m straight and so is she – she has a boyfriend, while I’m sin­gle.

I’ve never done any­thing like this be­fore and don’t know whether the ef­fects of lockdown made me go slightly crazy or there’s ac­tu­ally some­thing be­tween us.

She’s been in touch since, saying she loved the even­ing we spent to­gether and would like to do it again, but I’m not sure. It would be like saying I was gay and wanted a re­la­tion­ship with her, which I’m pretty sure I don’t. I’ve never had a les­bian re­la­tion­ship be­fore or even been with an­other woman.

I’m feel­ing con­fused and what’s also an is­sue is that this col­league is more se­nior than me and I some­times have to work on things for her.

I’m driv­ing my­self mad, wor­ry­ing about the sit­u­a­tion I’ve got my­self into.

Can you help?

Coleen says

LOOK, it’s OK to put this down to a wild drunken even­ing and pos­si­bly get­ting car­ried away by a glimpse of nor­mal life af­ter ev­ery­thing we’ve been through. You don’t have to over­think it.

But, what­ever’s be­hind it, you don’t have to make any rash de­ci­sions and I don’t think you should tor­ture your­self wor­ry­ing about it.

If you de­cide it was a one-night-only thing, all you have to say to this woman is that you had a re­ally nice even­ing, too, but you don’t want to take it any fur­ther.

It shouldn’t com­pli­cate things at work if you both stay pro­fes­sional. I think it would be more com­pli­cated if you ended up in a re­la­tion­ship and then things went sour. How­ever, if you feel it does start be­com­ing an is­sue, then you do need to sit down with her and talk about how you move for­ward pos­i­tively, so it doesn’t af­fect your work­ing re­la­tion­ship.

You’re not the first per­son to get your­self into an awk­ward or em­bar­rass­ing sit­u­a­tion with a work­mate and you def­i­nitely won’t be the last, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world.

For­tu­nately, while we’re all WFH a lot, you prob­a­bly won’t have to see her of­ten, which will give you both the time and space to move on.

She’s been in touch saying she wants to do it again

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