GETTING STICK FOR SEEING YOUNGER MAN

Dear Coleen

I’M a divorced woman in my 50s with two grown-up children, who don’t live at home. Before the first lockdown, I met a man I really fell for, although at 39 he’s a lot younger than I am.

He moved in with me in the summer and we get on really well – he’s made this whole horrible pandemic much easier and I’m enjoying having him around.

However, my kids and other members of my family have been negative about it. My daughter called him a gold-digger and my son refuses to have anything to do with him. A few of my friends have said they don’t see how it can work because of the age gap.

All this negativity is making me start to doubt how sensible it is. He has an OK job and has never been married or had kids, so doesn’t come with loads of baggage. However, I think he resents the frosty welcome he’s received from the people in my life. Can you advise?

Coleen says

WELL, it’s not really any of their business – tell them to concentrate on their own lives. Maybe this relationship won’t work out, but that’s what you do in life – you make choices and take a chance. They should be happy for you because, despite this horrible time we’re all going through, you’ve moved in with someone and it’s going well.

There are always dilemmas with age gaps but as long as you are aware of the issues you’re in a better position to tackle them.

It wouldn’t necessarily be for me, probably because my eldest is 32 and it might feel a bit like I was gaining another son! But if you’re getting through this pandemic with a smile on your face, then I’m all for it.

Maybe your kids are worried you’ll get hurt, but they’d think that about any guy you dated. Tell them to give you some credit for understanding the pitfalls and being old enough to decide what’s right for you. Plus, your boyfriend is nearly 40, not 25!