AWKWARD AFTER SEX WITH MY BEST MATE

Dear Coleen

I’M A woman in my 20s and live in a house-share with three other people, one of whom is my best mate. We met at uni seven years ago and have been in each other’s lives ever since.

There’s never been any romance or sex involved but, the other night, after a late-night drinking session with our housemates, we slept together. The sex was amazing, but when I woke up the next day, he wasn’t next to me. I saw him at breakfast and it was just awkward and we couldn’t really talk because the others were there, too. How do I deal with this? He’s obviously embarrassed and doesn’t know how to deal with it either.

Coleen says

YOU live together, so you can’t ignore what happened – you have to talk about it, otherwise the awkward atmosphere is going to hang around.

Just say: “Look, we need to talk about what happened the other night” and if that’s hard to do at home, then you could suggest taking a walk together.

You don’t actually know what he thinks or feels about sleeping with you and I’m sure he doesn’t know what you’re thinking either, but it’s clear you’re both dying of embarrassment.

Before you talk to him, take some time to think about what you want to happen from this point.

Are you interested in a relationship with him or do you want to just forget the whole thing happened and try to go back to being mates?

Just keep in mind that when friends sleep together it can change the friendship, especially if you both want different things.