ON SHARING CANCER TREATMENT I suffered bad side-effects... but having my ‘chemo sister’with me made us both stronger
anxiety and racing thoughts of: “I can’t do this, it’s too much.” At the end of June I became gravely ill.
My temperature soared to 38.8 but I was freezing.
I had to put a big fluffy hooded dressing gown on. It was suspected I had sepsis and I was rushed into hospital.
The word ‘‘sepsis” filled me with dread and I knew time wasn’t on my side if I didn’t get treatment fast.
Sepsis, or blood poisoning, is a life-threatening infection. My pulse rocketed and they struggled to bring it down. It was terrifying thinking I could have a heart attack any second and I wore a heart monitor for 24 hours. The worst part was wondering if I’d see my beautiful family again.
Due to Covid rules, even emergency patients weren’t allowed family to visit.
For nine days I lay on my own with just doctors and nurses for company, being treated for suspected sepsis with intravenous antibiotics, trying not to think what was to become of me and if I would ever walk out that hospital. Everything felt bleak... I didn’t want to die alone. It was one of the most frightening moments of my life. After what seemed an eternity – having blood tests every single day; my arm was so sore – they said there was no sign of infection in my blood, and they suspected the symptoms were caused by the severe side-effects of chemotherapy. And I think 50 per cent of it was anxiety too. I burst into tears.
I had every bad side-effect chemo has the potential to cause. I got mouth ulcers and couldn’t taste anything.
Poor Maureen would bring food in and I’d want to be sick. I would lose my voice when I got tired. My eyesight and hearing deteriorated rapidly.
The worst aspect is the constant feeling of pins and needles in my feet and hands, which Linda also suffers.
I remember saying to my oncologist: “Bloody chemotherapy, it’s killing me!” He got upset and said indignantly: “It will not be the chemotherapy but the cancer that will kill you. Chemotherapy will save your life.”
That’s all you can pray for, that it does its job, which it’s done.
When it came time to ring the bell, I was thrilled. The bell is at the end of the ward. You ring it to demonstrate you’ve made it through your treatment. It was a fantastic feeling that I had finished chemo but I really rang the bell hard for Linda and was doing it for her rather than for me. ■ Linda & Anne Nolan: Stronger Together is out now. Read Anne and Linda’s exclusive interview in new and OK! magazines.
I knew time wasn’t on my side if I didn’t get treatment fast ANNE NOLAN ON FEARING SHE HAD BLOOD POISONING