HUBBY DOES NOTHING FOR MY DAUGHTER

Dear Coleen

I’M a 39-year-old woman, married for the second time and with a daughter from my previous marriage, who’s nine. My marriage is good, but my husband (who has no kids or ex-wives to complicate things on his side) still doesn’t show any interest in taking on any responsibility for my daughter.

He’s lovely to her but never offers to do anything for her or do the school runs or any other practical stuff, which means I’m constantly running around like a headless chicken.

Her father is helpful but doesn’t live nearby, so I’m acting like a single parent, even though I’m married. How can I get my husband to be more involved and participate in family life?

Coleen says

TELL him what you expect. When he fell in love with you, he knew you came with a daughter and that you’d be an instant family.

He needs to be part of the jigsaw and right now he’s the missing piece. My ex Ray took on my two boys like they were his own and loved them as much as our own daughter Ciara. If he hadn’t got involved from the word go, it wouldn’t have worked for me.

Your husband hasn’t had kids of his own, so maybe he doesn’t quite get it but I think you have to start asking him to help you – whether it’s the school run, packing the lunch or dropping her off at clubs.

Also, he should want your child to love him as this brilliant stepdad and not just see him as some guy who lives in the same house. He should want that for himself, too.

He’s missing out on a lot of love and great experiences because he’s not open to creating that bond with your daughter. Talk to him.