Devastated after husband said he no longer loves me

I’VE been with my husband for six years and we have two children aged two and four. He’d been distant for a while and then the other night after a few glasses of wine, he confessed that he wasn’t “in love” with me any more, even though he loves me and our kids.

He cried and it was obviously difficult for him to admit to. He says there’s no one else involved but he feels we’ve become friends instead of lovers, and that it’s not enough for him.

Life is stressful with two young kids and we both work, so I’m convinced this has something to do with how he feels but he doesn’t seem interested in looking for solutions. In his mind it’s over.

We’re still living together, which is hard because I still love him and don’t want him to leave. I literally cry myself to sleep at night and feel completely devastated.

Once the dust settles, do you think there’s a chance that we can work on our marriage? I just can’t believe he would end it without even trying to make things better.

We used to have a really great relationship and there was a lot of sexual chemistry – surely we can get that back? I’d love your opinion.

Coleen says

THIS is a sad situation for both of you. It must have taken some courage for him to speak out, as I’m sure he didn’t want to hurt you.

If there’s still love there, then it’s not impossible to find a way forward but he has to want to do it, and there’s always the option of relationship counselling to help you work out whether there’s anything to build on.

Maybe a break from each other would help too. It could turn out to be the wake-up call your relationship needed.

Having young children can also put a huge strain on a relationship, so don’t underestimate this as a possible contributing factor.

It’s very difficult to find the space to be a couple and it’s exhausting and stressful.

There’s little room for romance unless you make a conscious effort to fit it in.

Talk to him and find out if he’s willing to try for an agreed period of time before making a final decision. Good luck.

I still love him and cry myself to sleep at night