TRAPPED LIVING WITH MY EX BUT I WANT HIM OUT

Dear Coleen

I BROKE up with my boyfriend while I was pregnant with our son, who’s now two years old. We still live together – our son sleeps in my room and my ex has the spare room. We did this initially to give our son stability and so my ex could support me. Then lockdown happened, so we didn’t really have a choice in the matter.

Now, though, I’m keen for him to move out and get his own place, so our son can move into his own room and, more importantly, so we can both move on with our lives.

I’m really worried about bringing it up with him because I think he’ll be upset. He loves our boy so much and is a good dad. He hasn’t said as much but, in an ideal world, I think he’d like it if we got back together.

What do you think?

Coleen says

I UNDERSTAND you don’t want to hurt his feelings. It sounds like you could do with a general conversation about “the future”, which could include dating and living arrangements, and see where his head is at the moment.

I assume neither of you has met anyone else and you’re probably unlikely to if you carry on living together like this.

Here’s the thing, you clearly split up for a good reason and as wonderful as your son is, he’s not going to bond you together if those issues are still there.

If you think your ex still holds a torch for you and you have no romantic feelings for him at all, then I think it’s only fair to be honest about that.

If he moves out, it doesn’t mean you can’t carry on with this great co-parenting arrangement.

I think your son is very lucky to have two parents who were able to put their differences aside and put his wellbeing first.