Patronising, cringey and all wrong
NOT since Harrison Ford’s infamously awful attempt at a Scottish accent has our Scottish dialect been so painfully portrayed on screen.
Enter A Castle for Christmas – Netflix’s latest attempt at cashing in on the Scottish dream which has been reignited in recent years thanks to the success across the pond of Outlander. At least the hit TV show has a real Scots actor at the helm and pretty accurate knowledge of the geography and history of our tiny nation – if you can see past the time travelling stones.
On the other hand, A Castle for Christmas has clearly been made for an American audience with every stereotype you can possibly imagine thrown in. Despite reading the scathing reviews, I still couldn’t help but sit down and watch the film while sipping hot chocolate over the weekend.
It wouldn’t be the start of the festival season without an average romcom to waste away a few hours. So just how many Scottish stereotypes can you fit into an hour and a half movie? Well it turns out quite a lot. I’ll not spoil it for you – if you are so inclined to watch it after reading this – so I’ll keep it brief.
First up we have the ridiculous subtitles on the taxi driver who picks up Brooke Shields’ character from Edinburgh Airport after landing from the States. Is there really any need to subtitle the phrase ‘nae bother’?
Next we have the mind-blowing geography of travelling from Edinburgh to Dunbar, via the Highlands and Inveraray in a black cab. We all know there is no Scot in their right mind who would do that journey in a black cab, just think of the pound signs climbing on that meter.
Dunbar in the movie isn’t located just outside the capital like normal, it’s a small remote highland village with cobbled streets, tartan bunting and the odd man in a kilt spotted wandering around.
Let’s not forget the aforementioned Scottish accent from Welsh actor Cary Elwes, who isn’t actually as bad as Harrison Ford and is perhaps more Braveheart’s’ Mel Gibsonesque. We of course all ceilidh dance down our local on a random Tuesday and consistently drink nothing but whisky.
In fairness, it’s not all bad. There’s a few highlights where the true beauty of Scotland is portages, including some stunning footage of East Lothian with the Bass Rock and Tantallon Castle making a striking appearance.
And it did provide the single best line I’ve heard in a movie in a long time. “I love you, ya dobber”, so praise to the script writers for that little laugh-out-loud moment for the true Scots among us.
The official Netflix account on Twitter has dubbed the film “the most accurate depiction of Scotland ever seen on screen” – and well, we really hope that was tongue in cheek. All in all, it’s patronising, cringey and factually incorrect. But it’s Christmas and who doesn’t want to live in a stately home “castle” and dream of a fairytale ending with a dog called Hamish. What’s not to love eh?!