Screen test for body doubles
Flicks may be overpriced but fringe Celts need to show they look the part and are worth cash
FOLK always chuck in a trip to the cinema when they are complaining about the cost of Scottish football.
It’s cheaper to watch Tam Cruise than Tam Courts is the usual line.
These people clearly haven’t been to the flicks recently.
The Gannons hit the dolly mixtures last weekend for the first time since the world got turned upside down and it was Dick Turpin masks the staff were wearing rather than N95 surgical ones.
Ten quid for popcorn and a juice? Three-and-a-half bucks for a bag of sweets?
No wonder James Bond drives an Aston Martin with an ejector seat.
Speaking of places to park the backside, the one thing worth every penny was a new funky recliner.
Back in the day, luxury at the pictures was avoiding getting a melted chocolate eclair welded to your backside during Back to the Future II.
The new seats in these places are the business and maybe it’s an idea to install a few at Parkhead tonight.
It’s time for some of Celtic’s big stars to stick the feet up and enjoy watching the action for once. Maybe even hand them some popcorn for munching while the stunt doubles do their thing.
Ange Postecoglou has insisted it’s no dead rubber against Real Betis but the Hoops gaffer has to say that.
They’d be as well showing the new Bond flick on Celtic Park’s big screens for all this game is worth in the real world.
But it can be used as a dress rehearsal for some of the guys Postecoglou could do with learning their lines.
Players such as Joe Hart, Callum McGregor, Kyogo Furuhashi, Cameron Carter-Vickers, David Turnbull and Tom Rogic need to sit back and relax.
They’ve been battered enough this season and this is an opportunity for the stand-ins, like Mikey Johnston. We can’t refer to the attacker as a youngster any more. He’s 22 now, so that doesn’t wash.
He’s had a horrific time with injuries. After battling back from a nightmare last term, he got crocked again in pre-season against Bristol City. He’s fought his way back again, though, and he has to kick on.
Everyone knows Johnston has talent. He’s been talked of around Lennoxtown since he was about 14.
Scotland and the Republic of Ireland nearly went to war to get him to commit.
Bond was bit of a bum number but fringe men have night to prove themselves
The new Aiden McGeady was the constant chat but so far he’s not even been the new Brian McLaughlin.
Perhaps Postecoglou is the man who will finally ignite his career. The way the Aussie plays might be perfect for him.
Johnston will need to adapt, though. He’ll need to be ready to do more running than Forrest Gump on a fitness kick.
It’s not just Johnston who has to produce tonight. James McCarthy needs another solid 90 under his belt.
The midfielder has struggled to get up to speed but, in fairness to him, he’s been pitched in for the closing spells in games, often in Europe when all hell is breaking loose and his side have been hanging on.
Josip Juranovic has played tons but he might put his hand up for another run out back in his favoured right-back slot.
And Greg Taylor could do with a half, leaving Liam Scales the other 45.
Bond was a bit of a bum number at two-and-a-half hours but some of these fringe men have 90 minutes to prove they can look the part – and are worth the money.