Meet the mentors
Getting a serious health diagnosis can be frightening, but speaking to someone who has been through it can make a difference to how you adjust. Joan McFadden meets medical mentors who understand
THERE are so many challenges for people living with a physical illness – from initial shock and worry about treatment to staying positive after a long-term diagnosis.
Support from those closest can help but many still feel alone as they don’t want to burden loved ones.
Now, mentoring is gaining popularity as people seek out those who have gone through something similar to guide them through the tough times.
Emi Carrillo, 38, who moved from Ecuador to the UK four years ago when she was diagnosed with triple-negative breast cancer.
She said: “I was a little bit desperate and lost but a nurse gave me a leaflet from Breast Cancer Now who told me about the Someone Like Me service. It let me talk to someone who had a similar diagnosis at around my age.“
Zahida Ramzan-Asghar, 46, an employment lawyer from Hertfordshire, began phoning Emi, giving her support throughout her six months of treatment.
Emi, who had moved to London to join her computer programmer husband Andrew, said: “I spoke to Zahida every couple of weeks and always looked forward to it.
“My family in Ecuador were so worried and were also trying to support my sister, who had been diagnosed with a brain tumour.
“Sometimes you just need to cry and talk – and I could do that with Zahida.
“When I was healing, I told her I wanted to do a photographic exhibition and she said, ‘Do it’. I’m a video editor but was too scared to do it. She made me realise life is too short not to do things we want to do.”
Zahida was inspired to become a volunteer because of the support she received from Someone Like Me after her own triple-negative breast cancer diagnosis.
She said: “Cancer isn’t spoken about very openly in Pakistani culture, so when Breast Cancer Now mentioned the mentoring scheme, talking to someone didn’t initially appeal. But the lady on the phone was so kind I couldn’t say no.”
The impact of her mentor, Gillian, transformed Zahida’s life.
She said: “I went from feeling totally alone and assuming I was going to die to feeling empowered and able to deal with my diagnosis. No matter how I felt, Gillian said it was OK to feel it.
“Ten years on, I’m proud to have now supported 100 other women through similar situations.”
For Jake Williams, 30, a sport development manager from Salford, support came from someone he knew – computer programmer Andy Clark, 37, who works in Liverpool.
In 1996, the pair were both diagnosed with Crohn’s disease and while they were aware they were living with the same condition, they rarely talked about it.
But once Jake was in his teens and Andy was starting work, they began to support each other.
During lockdown they started a podcast, Talking Crohn’s, and Andy found they could give advice to help fellow sufferers.
He said: “We’ve talked dating, sport, family ... everything. Sharing experiences with others helps all of us.” ● Breast Cancer Now’s Someone Like Me service (breastcancernow. org) puts people in touch with trained volunteers who can provide support by phone or email. Contact Crohn’s & Colitis UK (0300 222 5700 or go to crohnsandcolitis.org. uk) for support and information.