REGRET TELLING WORKMATE I FANCY HIM
MY marriage has been struggling for a while and it’s been especially hard since we had our son three years ago. I feel very disconnected from my husband and as a result I’ve been flirting a bit with a colleague, who I’ve always found attractive. He’s also married and has two kids.
Recently, we went out for drinks with a few others from the office and somehow ended up together for most of the night. We eventually admitted that we fancied each other and I enjoyed the attention, and totally played up to it. Nothing else happened – we didn’t kiss or arrange to meet on our own.
When I sobered up the next morning, I felt terrible and realised that starting anything with him would be a huge
Coleen says
I THINK it’s good you’ve realised you shouldn’t take it further – what you really need to be focusing on is your marriage and whether you and your husband make a commitment to work on it or cut your losses and move on. The answer isn’t this guy at work – or any other guy – it’s a distraction and a way of avoiding what you really need to sort out.
You could just show your colleague that he’s firmly back in the friend zone by the way you behave and talk to him.
Alternatively, be direct and say you feel you crossed a line the other night and it’s important to keep your relationship to a working one. He might feel the same.
I think once a few weeks have gone by and if you’re just focusing on work, the awkwardness will disappear.
But you’ll be feeling vulnerable right now, so don’t put yourself in any risky situations such as going for drinks – stick to the nine to five.