I’M FEELING DOWN ABOUT GROWING OLD

Dear Coleen

I’M a married woman in my late-50s and I’ve really struggled with the concept of getting older.

I have tried to battle it by staying fit, minor cosmetic tweaks and an optimistic outlook, but I still feel a bit depressed, and my marriage is suffering.

My husband and I get on very well as friends, but we’re not as close as we used to be and the future just feels a bit depressing, especially now our kids have grown up and left home.

I’m finding this part of life more challenging than any other – even the baby and toddler stage when I was constantly tired and we struggled to make ends meet.

I wondered if you had any advice on positive ways to move forward? Thank you.

Coleen says IT IS a very challenging part of life both emotionally and physically, and it requires a big shift in your mindset.

Even if things are tough when you’re younger, there’s a momentum that carries you forward to achieve and reach milestones, and having the responsibility of kids is a big factor in that. Now you’re dealing with empty nest syndrome and wondering what there is for you and your husband to look forward to.

I remember hitting 50 and suddenly feeling redundant as a mum and as a woman.

In terms of your relationship, I think it helps to find new activities to enjoy together, so you can bond over them.

Staying intimate and being affectionate is important – you may not be having chandelierswinging sex of days gone by, but it can be just as fulfilling and keeps you connected.

Stop thinking of this part of your life as a sentence you have to see through and think instead you finally have the opportunity to do a lot of fun things together without having to worry about the kids. It can be liberating.