NERVOUS ABOUT PARENTS MEETING NEW LOVE

Dear Coleen

I’M a gay man and recently I met a younger, very fun guy who I think I could have a future with.

I’ve never introduced any previous boyfriends to my family. They know I’m gay and occasionally ask who I’m dating, but I’ve always kept my private life, well, private.

While I’m a very straight gay man with a boring, serious job, my boyfriend is much more comfortable in his own skin – he’s out and proud, and has a larger-than-life personality.

I suppose I’m worried about how my family will react to him, as they are quite conservative, and I feel nervous when I think about being with him in their company.

I’m going around in circles with this – can you help?

Coleen says

I THINK this is more about you and putting yourself outside your comfort zone, rather than how your family will feel.

I think you’re doing them a disservice – they know you’re gay and it sounds as if they’d be happy to see you with someone special. They don’t ask too much about your love life, probably because you give off a very strong vibe that your private life is your business and you’re not open to discussing it.

But this is obviously a big step for you and, let’s face it, whatever your sexuality, meeting the parents is always a bit daunting.

I’d suggest keeping the meeting informal – maybe you could all meet at the pub for a drink or organise a barbecue, so it’s relaxed and there are lots of opportunities to mingle.

Also, admit to your boyfriend that you’re a bit nervous because you’ve never introduced anyone to your parents before. I’m sure he’ll get it and be sensitive to that.

Don’t forget, he’ll want to impress your family because he’ll want them to like him. Get a date in the diary and go for it.