IF I LEAVE, WILL IT BE UNFAIR ON MY BABY SON?

Dear Coleen

I’M ABSOLUTELY sure I want to leave my long-term partner, even though we have a son who’s just over a year old.

He’s a good enough dad but is a hopeless partner and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with him.

My problem is, I know it’s risky going it alone as a single parent.

My partner would be around, of course but it’s not the same as being on the frontline, doing 99 per cent of the childcare and I’m worried about how I’m going to cope or if I’m doing the right thing for my son. I know it’s the right thing for me. Please advise.

Coleen says

IF YOU know you don’t want to be with him, then you have to leave.

There’s nothing worse for a child than seeing a parent desperately unhappy and being in a household where there’s a strained or toxic atmosphere.

Your son is still very young so the impact on him won’t be as great as it would be if he were older. Equally, you want his father to play an active part in your son’s life, so that’s something you have to discuss.

I understand the guilt you feel, but you have to try to see the bigger picture and think long term.

You’ll cope by being organised and getting a good support network. Both my sons were young when my first marriage ended but by always putting them first we’ve managed really well.

My eldest son got married the other weekend and his dad was there with his wife and their children and it was lovely.

You have to remember, kids grow up and have their own lives and relationships, and your son won’t stay at home for you, so you have to think about yourself at this point. Good luck.