OLD PAL USES MY HOUSE LIKE A HOTEL

Dear Coleen

I HAVE an old school friend who I love dearly but she really takes me for granted.

She moved with her family to the Isle of Man a few years ago and, since then, she’s come back frequently and stayed at my house.

She never checks dates with me and just expects me to put her and her kids up, and sometimes her husband, too.

The other day, she called to say she was coming over for two weeks in August to stay with us and couldn’t wait to see me. She’s bringing her kids and their dog.

I’m at my wits’ end and my husband is not happy, so it led to a huge argument where he threatened to move out while they’re here. Please help.

Coleen says

THAT’S pretty cheeky. However, if you’ve never spoken up and told her when it hasn’t been convenient, and instead just silently seethed and complained to your hubby, then she’s going to think you’re OK with her turning up whenever it suits. But it’s not something most people would dream of doing, even if they are really close friends with someone.

You’ve got to tell her but you don’t have to be mean about it. Just explain it’s not convenient this year because you’ve got a lot on but hopefully you’ll get to see her when she’s over. I think you have a lot of brownie points in the bank.

If she’s funny with you, then explain that while you love seeing her, she needs to check with you first if she wants to stay before she books a trip.

If she’s as good a friend as you say she is, she’ll accept what you say and thank you for all the times you’ve put her up in the past, and she won’t hold a grudge either.