GRANDSON IS TOO YOUNG FOR DATING

Dear Coleen

MY grandson and his girlfriend are both 16 and are “going steady”, as we used to say in the old days. I’m concerned that they’re too young for such a serious relationship, but I’m not sure how to tackle it with him.

I know you’re a parent of three, so would love some sensible advice about what I should do.

Coleen says

I WONDER what’s concerning you so much about this relationship? As I’m sure you know, at 16 it’s legal for them to have sex.

Are you worried they’re not mature enough or concerned that the relationship is distracting them from school or college work? The thing is, if they want to be together, they’ll find a way of doing it and I think by actively discouraging the relationship, it’ll only bring them closer and drive a wedge between you and your grandson.

The best way to tackle it is to tell him you’ve noticed he’s serious about this relationship and you want him to know that he can come to you if he wants to talk about anything – your door is always open.

And while I accept it’s awkward to talk about sex, you could gently remind him that he should be taking precautions and practising safe sex.

He’ll probably squirm with embarrassment and tell you “he knows”, but that’s how it is.

I think the best way to approach it is to be a guide and a mentor, but also to accept that it’s perfectly natural for teenagers to start forming relationships. Most teen romances don’t last, as kids go off to university or get involved in careers. But try to be supportive, get to know his girlfriend and create the space for your grandson to talk to you.