’Well fan who threw a bottle faces a life ban.. now 7000 of us have admitted it
THE late, great Ronnie Corbett once joked that the most nervous he had ever been in his life was standing in the BBC toilets at the urinal next to Shakin’ Stevens…
Well, ahead of Motherwell’s match away to Sligo Rovers at 7pm tonight – when our hopes of a decent run in Europe could disappear down the pan – I think I know how the wee man felt.
In the first leg at Fir Park last Thursday, the Steelmen did our bit for the European coefficient – Ireland’s – with a truly honking performance that resulted in an embarrassing 1-0 defeat.
The natives in Lanarkshire, as you can imagine, were very restless and club officials are trying to track down the person who threw a bottle on to the pitch so the culprit can be banned for life.
So far, 7000 Motherwell fans have come forward…
But listen, forget the gloom and doom.
I think we’ll win 2-0 tonight to cruise through to the next round of the Europa Conference League.
And, who knows, we might play Celtic if, like last season, they end up having a crack at all three European tournaments. That’s not a dig at the Hoops. Honest. You see, folks, I was reminded this week how a cheeky jibe can come back to bite you on the bum.
As you may have read, Monday was the 25th anniversary of the legendary Celtic striker Henrik Larsson joining the Glasgow club for £650,000.
It was arguably the second-best bit of business in Scottish football history when I remind you that Motherwell paid Rangers just 50 grand for the one and only
Larsson signing was the second best bit of business in Scots football history
Davie Cooper. Anyway, during a particularly purple patch in his free-scoring Celtic career, Larsson was bagging hat-tricks for fun and walking off the pitch week after week with the match ball tucked under his arm.
Ahead of Motherwell welcoming the Hoops to Fir Park, I boldly stated on the radio: “Listen, if Larsson gets a hat-trick against us, I’ll give him one of my own balls.”
Well, ladies and gents, Celtic cuffed us 7-1… and Henrik scored FOUR!!!
What a relief, eh? I mean, four goals AIN’T a hat-trick, so there was no need for me to resemble Adolf
Hitler in the underwear department. Phew! Scottish football is full of memorable moments and an absolute cracker was captured this week by Queen of the South’s official photographer Colin Johnstone.
In the game at Elgin City, his camera clicked at the precise moment the ball whacked one of the home fans and sent his half-time snacks flying through the air.
(I’m told one of the linesmen on duty – a Mr D Ross – immediately tried to blame it on Nicola Sturgeon…)
It was a BRILLIANT photograph
and I’m still chuckling at reports the club was “trying to trace” the supporter in question to offer him a freebie.
Trying to trace?!? He’s an Elgin City fan – not Bible John! This is hardly needle-in-a-haystack stuff. I should state the freebie in question is complimentary grub from the food kiosk.
The poor guy’s probably terrified to come forward in case it’s an Elgin City season ticket.
To be honest, this fella had a lucky escape – a few splashes on his shirt but no personal injury… unlike a poor Motherwell fan at Brechin City about 10 years ago. During the pre-match warm-up, a wayward shot from one of the Motherwell strikers went wide of the target and hit this lady flush on the face – at about 100mph – just as she was taking a sip of her Bovril…
As any Scottish football fan will confirm, Bovril is basically beef-flavoured lava and I still hear her screams in my Vietnam-style flashbacks…
PS. Staying with football, Rangers fans face matchday mayhem due to a Subway strike.
As Barry Ferguson apparently commented: “Can they no’ jist go tae the Greggs across fae Ibrox?”