I CAN’T STAND BEST FRIEND’S COCKY PARTNER

Dear Coleen

I’M in a difficult situation because I don’t like my best friend’s long-term partner. He’s vain, selfish, a right know-it-all and always pontificating about something or other.

He’s also quite offensive – I recently turned 45 and he made some ageist comments at my birthday party, which were definitely aimed at me.

Not that I think 45 is old, but he’s only 38 and I think he enjoys his position as “enfant terrible” of the group and it’s getting worse as the years go by.

My friend and her partner have two young children together and she does all the heavy lifting when it comes to childcare.

I really want to ask her what the hell she sees in him and tell her I don’t like him, but I’m not sure I should be this honest.

Coleen says

ER, I don’t think you should tell her you don’t like him because she probably will be hurt and it’ll affect your friendship.

Whatever you think of him, she obviously loves him and they have a family together. But you can avoid him most of the time by seeing your friend on her own and avoiding couples get-togethers.

It’s easier to avoid him in a group situation like a party where there are lots of other people about and distractions.

And, if he does say something offensive, then why not call him out on it? I think you have every right to do that. He may not be used to being challenged and it might shut him up.

But don’t let him spoil the relationship you have with your friend. We can’t always get along with our friends’ partners unfortunately, but you don’t have to let it become an issue.