SO HARD TO BEAR
AS KING Charles gazed at the exquisite angel carvings of Westminster Hall, where the Queen now rests, a sharp intake of breath exposed the grief of a son mourning his mother.
After steadying himself all week to honour the Queen and assume the responsibilities of a new monarch, his steely resolve appeared to crack for a moment.
On the day the Royal Family handed her to the nation, the pain etched on the faces of her loved ones told the tale of what is lost.
It was a privilege to be one of about 300 people, including all the senior royals, to witness our late Queen brought to her lying-instate at the majestic hall, after lying at rest in St Giles’ Cathedral in Edinburgh earlier in the week,
A haunted look seemed to be almost contagious among her grandchildren. Steely looks filled the faces of the more senior royal women as they filed into the hall.
Catherine, the Princess of Wales, and Sophie, Countess of Wessex, seemed to take turns offering words of resolve before the sound of drums grew and bells tolled.
Outside, thousands steadied themselves to witness the Queen’s coffin on a gun carriage departing Buckingham Palace for the final time. A soldier’s cry signified the moment was upon us.
The prevailing mood was sombre, with an overwhelming silence as people in dark clothing, heads bowed and faces solemn, looked on as an era ended.
Queen Consort Camilla flicked through her order of service to steady her nerves before the cortege emerged under a piercing beam of light from the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee window.
Some of the Queen’s closest family members appeared at the hall’s North Door including her grandkids Zara Tindall, Princess Eugenie and Princess Beatrice.
Soon after the Queen Consort, Princess of Wales, Countess of Wessex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex appeared together.
The four women stood, accompanied by their husbands,
The cortege emerged under a beam of light from her Jubilee Window
close to the door where the Queen’s coffin would soon be arriving.
Then the coffin, draped in the Royal Standard and topped with the Imperial State Crown and flowers, was carried into the vast hall, as planned, just after 3pm.
The procession was reflected in the glass of the entrance doors where up to a million mourners will enter over the next four days to say farewell. As the Queen’s coffin passed by curtseying ladies-inwaiting, gasps broke the silence as Lady Gabriella Windsor’s legs buckled beneath her.
The ashen-faced daughter of the Queen’s cousin Prince Michael crumpled, saved only from a fall by her quick-thinking husband. Heartbreak was written on the faces of Eugenie and her sister Beatrice as their husbands discreetly offered comfort before the royal party led by the King walked in. He was alongside his wife the new Queen, who had greeted him at the towering doors.
As the angelic sounds of the Royal Chapel Choir soared up to the hammerbeam arches above, Charles appeared to sway with emotion.
As the Prince and Princess of Wales stared ahead, almost impassive to the history unfolding, Charles appeared to try to peer around the giant catafalque holding the Queen’s coffin.
The passage read by the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, from John 14:1-6, in which Jesus said to his disciples: “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in me”, appeared to settle the monarch as his head bowed in a moment of silent reflection.
The Wessexes’ daughter Lady Louise Windsor, who became close to the late Duke of Edinburgh due to their shared love of carriage driving, wiped away tears as her younger brother Viscount Severn nervously played with his hair and tapped his feet. Beatrice too appeared to bite down on her bottom lip.
But it was former England rugby player Mike Tindall who became
completely overcome with emotion, wiping tears from his eyes as wife Zara gazed to the heavens.
As he turned to leave, Charles perhaps considered the outpouring of emotion delivered by millions across the nation and around the world.
The number of mourners set to queue through the night to pay their respects to his mother will dwarf the 200,000 who did the same for the Queen Mother in 2002.
Her Majesty’s long-held mantra that she had to be seen to be believed will be realised by many, many more people over the next few days.