There’s nothing wrong with having a laugh at Kane on a plane.. Three Lions are not the force they think they are
YOU’VE heard of Elf on the Shelf. Now there’s Kane on the Plane.
It was just one of the thousands of WhatsApp messages doing the rounds after the Three Lions were tamed the other night that gave most of us a chuckle.
In the cold light of day, does feeling all warm and fuzzy about England’s demise make us petty and immature?
Does it reek of jealousy given Scotland didn’t even get an invite to the party?
Yes, to all the above. But if it’s wrong to be glad our old pals are out, then I don’t want to be right.
Listen, yours truly lived down there for a few years and has plenty of English pals. That doesn’t mean I need to wrap myself in a St George’s Cross and dress up as King Arthur.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting your big rivals to come a cropper.
Do you reckon the Germans are now cheering on France?
Think Spain wanted Portugal to beat Morocco? Gie’s peace. Rivalry is what makes this game. It’s also what blinds us at the best of times.
A lot of Scots felt like Chrimbo had come early when Harry sent the ball into orbit to signal the end of the world for England.
There’s plenty who feared their name was on the trophy with this squad under Gareth Southgate.
Look, there’s no doubt they are decent – but no more than that. There isn’t a shred of evidence to suggest otherwise.
Folk will point to getting to the World Cup semis in 2018 and the final of Euro 2020.
But take a peek at how they got there both times.
England have been anointed in recent years with the draws they have landed.
They constantly get plum ties against diddy nations and do the necessary.
Yet as soon as they land a proper test they get found out.
England are one of the big eight teams in world football. We can’t argue with that.
But when was the last time they actually got the better of a fellow member of the world’s top eight in a knockout game.
In the World Cup? The last time they beat a team in the knockout stages ranked above or even around them was in 1966 when one of their winning goals wasn’t over the line and the other should have been ruled out because there were fans on the pitch.
Seriously. In 1970 West Germany got revenge for four years earlier, they didn’t even make ’74 and ’78, couldn’t get past Spain in ’82, lost to Argentina four years later, the Germans again at Italia ’90.
In France ’98 it was the Argies again, Brazil in 2002, Portugal did them next followed by Germany 2010.
They didn’t get out of the groups in Brazil and Croatia sank them four years ago after they played against Jossy’s Giants and the Mighty Ducks on the way to the last four.
When you look at that body of work, it’s hardly big guy behaviour. In fact, that’s what’s holding them back.
Despite being supposed football giants, they have a wee-guy mentality. Just listen to the pundits and commentary teams the other night, they were practically greeting at every decision.
England are good but how good? Where are all of their Champions League winners?
There’s not many. Not enough actually. They don’t even have enough players who are regularly in the Champions League last four or finals.
That’s what separates the best from the rest at this level.
They might get there with this young group. But they might not. The jury is still out.
Harry’s spot-kick might have been out of this world, but the team certainly isn’t.