I’M CATHOLIC AND HE’S HINDU ...WE HAD THREE WEDDINGS!
i worried his family might not accept me, or would expect me to convert
Lavinia Dsouza, 36, is an analyst and lives in Leeds with husband ajay Hasabnis, 35, a project manager
Some love stories are a romantic whirlwind. Others, like ours, take years from first sight to ‘I do’.
I first spotted Ajay in 2007, when we were 18 and both engineering students in Mumbai. He was at a class picnic joking around, and we had friends in common. Soon we were all hanging out together.
India is a very traditional place, and when Ajay asked me out it took me a month to say yes. Even then, our date had other people there with us.
We had fun and continued to spend time together. We’d break away from the group to take a motorbike ride or sit together over coffee.
But while I enjoyed spending time with him, marriage was the last thing on my mind. I was young and didn’t know what the future held.
But there was another, bigger issue. Ajay was Hindu and I was Catholic. That didn’t impact us being friends at all, but I knew if we were to become serious, it would.
I didn’t have siblings and Ajay was the only son, so there were family expectations on us both.
The traditional culture around us was not supportive of interfaith relationships. So as our feelings grew, and we knew that this was love, we had many conversations about what the future might look like for us.
When I worried that his family might not accept me, or would expect me to convert, Ajay was so respectful of me and my beliefs, and never pressured me. It made me love him even more. With patience and honesty our love grew, but we didn’t tell our families a thing.
Finally, after three years, my mum sat Ajay down and asked him outright, ‘Are you dating my daughter?’ Thankfully she accepted our relationship.
Two years later he finally told his family. While some were shocked, most were pleasantly surprised. Soon everyone came around to the idea.
People still said because of our different religions our relationship wouldn’t work. But we loved each other and wanted to be together.
As for wedding planning, organising one isn’t easy, but in January 2014 we had three!
The first was civil, the second Catholic and the third Hindu. It was exhausting. A few months later we moved to the UK.
It wasn’t easy, but I’m so glad that we didn’t let our differences stop us from being together. A decade on we’re more in love than ever.