‘My door knob fear made me want to end it all’ RICHARD’S O.C.D. HELL
JAILED former American football icon OJ Simpson has Alzheimer’s, his former manager claims. Norman Pardo, who visits him at a Nevada jail, said: “I talk to him and he just sits there and talks to himself. I’m told he doesn’t know anything about me. He must be suffering Alzheimer’s because I was his manager for 10 years.” Simpson, 69, cleared in 1995 of killing his ex-wife Nicole, is serving 33 years for kidnapping and robbery. He will become eligible for parole next year.
Some experts reckon he may be suffering the brain disease chronic traumatic encephalopathy caused by head injuries sustained during his NFL career. A MAN says his crippling fear of door handles helped push him to the brink of suicide.
Richard Taylor has suffered from obsessive-compulsive disorder, known as OCD, all his life.
At his lowest ebb, the illness left him emaciated, bed-bound for nine months and contemplating taking his own life.
Richard, 24, said: “I have a fear over who has touched a door handle and where their hand has been. It’s the idea of feeling disgusted or uncomfortable that I don’t like because of contamination.
“If someone sneezes into their hand and then goes to shake my hand it will instantly set my brain into ‘fight or flight’ mode. I panic.”
Unemployed Richard was diagnosed with the mental disorder at 15, but it continued to get worse.
He said: “Between around 18 and 20 I suffered from agoraphobia. Almost out of nowhere it got to the EXCLUSIVE ED GLEAVE point where if I saw anything that made me feel unclean, I wouldn’t be able to go out for 24 hours.
“It could be a fruit fly or something I saw on the TV that made me feel disgusted. And the days would add up. It got to the point where I was bed-bound for nine months.
“I was only eating between 11am and 2pm each day because they were the hours I felt comfortable to do it in. I lost 4st and my dad said I looked like I’d been through chemotherapy. I was incredibly weak. It became hard to walk up the stairs.”
During his months in bed, Richard hit rock bottom and wanted to end it all. He added: “Every day I wanted to die. I didn’t want to wake up ever again.
“I used to spend a lot of my time lying on the bed fantasising about how I could kill myself. I used to think, ‘If only I was strong enough to walk to the kitchen to get a knife to kill myself.’ Or, ‘If only I wasn’t scared to touch the handle to open the windows and we were higher so I could jump out and not be here.’
“I lost myself to my illness. I wasn’t in control. I should have been in a mental institution.”
Brave Richard, from Sidcup, Kent, tells his story in the Channel 5 documentary Me...& My Mental Illness, which airs on Tuesday at 10pm.
He said: “My fear of door handles is something I still deal with every day. But I’m at a stage now where fantastic support from my family and my girlfriend means I don’t slip back into my old mindset.
“People instantly judge mental illness. Everyone assumes you can get through it. But they’d never say that to someone with cancer or heart disease. I want to raise awareness about mental illness so people don’t make jokes or mock something that took me to the brink of death.”
For Richard’s blog go to richbiscuit21.wordpress.com and for support visit mind.org.uk