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Auto box puts Britain’s favourite van in fast lane
CAR manufacturers use all sorts of venues to launch their new products.
These can range from stately homes (posh cars) to race tracks (very fast cars) to all manner of other urban or rural locations, depending on the flavour of said jalopy.
So where would you launch the 2017 updates for Britain’s perennially best-selling van, the Ford Transit?
A builder’s merchants? An industrial estate? A roadside bacon-butty bar?
No, it was held at Britain’s golf-pest mecca, the Belfry. See the connection? Err…
Golf gives me the creeps, sorry Ford. Anonymous looking middle-aged men in “prestige” executive cars with crass personalised plates. Bedecked in tangerine slacks and pale lemon sweaters, these miserable-faced exercise dodgers haul themselves around in oversized, four-seater electric mobility scooters. Like Davros, without the menace.
When they’re not doing that they’ll be stood in a concrete shed, needlessly smashing a small white ball into a field full of small white balls. The fun these people have is clearly endless.
Yep, whenever I see a place like the Belfry with its suspiciously manicured lawns, I always feel an overriding urge to have a motocross bike and a full tank of fuel at my disposal.
Anyway, I digress. What’s new in Ford Transit land this year?
A six-speed automatic transmission for starters.
To use a colloquialism, that’d be a new Tranny tranny, if you see what I mean? All it would take is a cross- dressing owner (and a possessive apostrophe) and it’d be a triple-hitter on the tranny front.
To a man who’s broken his left ankle three times (me) it makes a massive difference when you don’t have to use a left pedal in stop-go traffic. For this easy-driving reason, Ford expect a big uptake on this £1,200 option from delivery companies.
It’s good, too. Sourced from the USA parts bin where it’d done a squillion miles of service in a whole load of cars we’ve never even heard of, never mind seen, the R&D has certainly been taken care of.
With just over 400NM of torque on tap, this is pretty key. Ratios swap smoothly and quickly, kick-down is impressive – and you can make manual shifts by using the gear-stick’s “M” function if you so wish.
But the best bit is how fast it is from a standstill when the lights turn green. First gear is short in the manual Transit and the shift to second takes a bit of time. Not in the auto option. Nail the gas and – POW! – you’re guaranteed the traffic light holeshot.
Air rear suspension is another (£920) option on the multi-seater Torneo version and transforms the admittedly crashy ride offered by the standard live axle and leaf springs. Yep, leaf springs – as used on railway carriages, horse carts and Model-T Fords.
Those twin rear airbags aren’t (yet) adjustable for height but even in an empty vehicle they now make the possibility of drinking coffee on the move feasible without skin loss or stained clothing. If you’re an airport run company, don’t fail to tick the air suspension box.
Next up was this fully-blinged Transit Courier Sport, pictured. Great fun to drive: nippy, agile and very car-like. But I’m at a loss as to who’s going to buy it. It’s not long enough for plumbers or joiners, and thanks to that bulky rear bulkhead the restrictive opening on the side door would be no good for anyone shipping bulky items. Car detailers and dog groomers, maybe? From £14,126 + VAT if you’re a car or dog polisher.
So, it’s a thumbs up for air-ride and the new Tranny tranny – a wavering thumb for the Courier Sport and a massive thumbs down for all that Golfism entails.