It’s Silent Witless...

WHAT a start to the year! We’ve had more new TV shows than there are bloody atrocities in Luther. And the funniest by a country mile was… Silent Witness!

In one laugh-out-loud scene, a cop was sent to confront a potential murderer who was using a public phone. The phone box was completely empty, but she still opened the door and looked inside. Did she think the killer-caller was Ant-Man? Then she glanced up the street and radioed in: “Area searched. No trace.”

With brains like that she will be Met Commissioner by Christmas.

The barking-mad BBC drama is the gift that keeps us giggling. British forensics experts call killers “perps” and solve crimes that baffle Plod.

Scripts have a right-on subtext. It’s like ishoo bingo: transphobia, tick; evil Tory cuts, tick; dodgy squaddie...HOUSE!