Bay wahey’s a pint puller
GERALD Butler was talking about Kyle Sinckler’s rugby skills when he said: D.Warner of Leicester wins £35 for that howler. Keep ’em coming to the address at the top of the page. BIG Narstie greeting Prue Leith with “Whagwan Prue dawg?” Evil Constantin’s demise on Baptiste – bye bye, bad guy. Diana Dors in full battleaxe mode in The Sweeney’s Messenger Of The Gods episode. Cartoon thugs The Bruvs on Dave v-o-d.
IF nothing else, The Bay is a cracking advert for the boozers of Morecambe.
Minutes into ITV’s new crime drama, Lisa Armstrong enjoyed a rampant knee-trembler with a stranger she’d just met at a pub karaoke night.
Who needs Tinder with women like this? Even Eric Morecambe’s statue was blushing.
It’s just a pity they didn’t take turns murdering Come Outside, Stand & Deliver and It Only Takes A Minute Girl beforehand...
One small problem – Lisa is a police family liaison officer and the stranger was Sean Meredith, the married stepdad of missing teenage twins Dylan and Holly.
Within hours Dylan was dead, Sean was in custody, Holly was still missing and the only song in single mum Lisa’s head was Who’s Sorry Now?
She was nursing a Razor Ruddock-size hangover when she got assigned to the missing persons case and was distinctly off with novice sidekick Med.
But Lisa’s day went from bad to worse when she realised what, or rather who, she’d done.
Sean, played by Robin Hood star Jonas Armstrong, had been out drinking with mates when the twins vanished.
Lisa’s boss told her to investigate the hour-long hole in his alibi when his pals Email me at: garry.bushell@ dailystar.co.uk or write c/o Daily Star Sunday,
10 Lower Thames Street, London
EC3R 6EN moved on from The Royal to another boozer and Lisa was taking down his particulars round the back of the pub.
She can certainly account for his movements...
Not that it took an hour. With mounting horror, she realised the bar’s CCTV showed the two of them laughing and leaving together.
So to swerve public humiliation, this well-respected detective sergeant deleted the footage...
When Dylan’s body was found on the beach, the repercussions of her coverup became all the more serious.
The Bay is much like Broadchurch – a murdered kid in a seaside town, relatives compromised, a flawed cop... It’s part crime story, part family drama – Lisa’s teenage daughter is going off the rails.
So can the police find Holly before the killer strikes again? Can Lisa keep her dirty secret?
And can Sean keep it in his pants for another five weeks?
I’d write more but I’m too busy googling train fares to Morecambe.
The Royal must have another karaoke night soon...
SEX with Robin Hood? Well, she wouldn’t have wanted Little John. “Is that Will Scarlet?” asked my mate. Not if he wore a condom. HARRY’S Heroes: The Full English ... Morven Christie, The Bay... Baptiste... Sian Clifford, Fleabag, right. CORRIE roof disaster, left – credibility collapsed like a bad soufflé... Say Yes To The Dress – say no to the show... Warren... Mums Make Porn – an anti-climax.
‘Sinckler leaves the field and so does his huge tackle’