CARRIE’S LOST PLOT

CRAZY Carrie, the world’s least likely CIA agent, is back for the final series of spy thriller Homeland.

The poor woman has always lacked every single quality you’d need for undercover work. She’s bipolar, she gurns like Mr Bean and she makes Nikki Grahame seem stable.

The Joker has a better poker face. Now, after seven months off her meds in a Russian gulag, even the CIA don’t trust her.

Carrie can’t recall most of her time behind bars, she failed a lie-detector and has no idea how much she blabbed.

And yet her mentor Saul (US National Security adviser) sent her to Kabul on a mission. Can she cope? Do we care?

Homeland was mesmerising once, with Brody and the mighty Quinn and Carrie reinterpreting CIA as Casual Intercourse Available.

Great writing could save it. Meanwhile, I’m opening a book on who she’ll bed first – the Russian or the Taliban?